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Posts Tagged ‘Healthy Mindset’

Hi Friends!

This Friday made its presence known by bringing with it some snowy weather.

Last Snow

My commute to work was much slower than usual, but I tried to take in the beautiful scenery around me as I made my way in.  Hopefully this will be the final snowfall for the year!  Due to the weather, the office is much quieter than usual and I like it that way, especially on a Friday when you just want to unwind.  Smile

You know, the more I thought about yesterday’s post the more positive I became for the coming year.  Even though others might not know it, I’ve really come a long way, and I need to acknowledge how much I’ve grown over the years.

Pride

Maybe I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I know that I will go the distance to get myself there.  I can honestly say that no matter how many times I’ve been knocked down I always pick myself up.  There have been times where it was much more difficult than others to find the motivation to dust myself off and get moving again, but I have never sat back completely defeated.  I will never give up on myself.  EVER!  The past is just that – “THE PAST”.  Learn from your experiences (good and bad), make whatever tweaks you see fit and then move forward to bettering your future.

Door Quote

Once you realize that YOU are in control (for the most part) of your destiny, it’s easier to see things in a positive light.  Don’t look to compete with others.  Instead, find ways to motivate yourself to be better.  There is no race to the finish line! 

Competition

Make small changes that better you and eventually you will look in the mirror to find that you are the person you’ve aspired to be.  You can’t stop believing in yourself though.  If you don’t believe how will others?

It’s going to take work, but you can shape your future to be what you’ve always dreamed. 

With that, I’ll tell you that I have BIG dreams for myself.  I know that there has to be a reason why I’ve had so many struggles throughout my life.  I believe it’s to help others not have to struggle the way that I have(or at least not for as long).  These dreams won’t become reality on their own though.  My coming 34th year marks the time that I take action and make things happen.  When I look at it that way, I’m much more excited to be done with 33 and move on!

A wise man once said….

Your Work - Don't Settle

He’s right!  I’m looking forward to making my dream job a reality.  I just have to pursue my dreams instead of making wishes and not let ANYTHING get in the way!

Ok, time to run!  Only 3 more hours left of work and then I’m out of here!

~Kim

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Hi Guys!

Another day flying by over here.  Work has been completely nutzo ever since I returned from our vacation a few weeks ago.  I feel like….Vacation? What vacation?  Disappointed smile My tan has faded and life has resumed as usual, but good memories were made as well as a new friend. Smile  I can only imagine how stressed I might be right now had I not gone on vacation.  At least I got a lil sunshine before coming back to NY and getting sick…twice.

So, I mentioned in Saturday’s post that I reached out for help with my eating.  For someone like me who has had issues with weight/eating their entire life, giving up control to someone else is extremely scary.  Where has trying to always be in control honestly gotten me though, right?  It seems that I continue in the same vicious cycle and never seem to break free.

In the past I’ve questioned people’s methods and always found reasons why their plan wasn’t going to work for me.  It wasn’t that it wouldn’t work; rather, it all boiled down to me having to give up control over what and the way that I was eating and not wanting to relinquish that control 100%.  I realize that I’m never going to get better that way.  So, although there is a hint of fear in increasing my calories on a constant basis, I’m EXTREMELY excited to see where this takes me hopefully off of this merry-go-round I’ve been on for over 2 decades.  This isn’t a fitness competitor program.  This is just me trying to reach my optimal health in a balanced way so I can be finally be happy and not allow food to control my life anymore.  I’m crossing my fingers that this is the time that everything clicks for me!

Only a few more hours here at the office and then I’ll hurry on to my new found love, KICKBOXING!  I haven’t been to class in over a week, due to being sick.  I can’t wait to get back in their and knock the bag around.  Before my vacation and then getting sick I could tell that I had gotten stronger and my endurance had drastically improved.  Let’s hope that I haven’t lost much in the time that I’ve been out from class.  Aside from getting a great workout, class provides me with an hour that’s completely mine.  I can take my frustrations out on the bag, work to better my conditioning, take it a little easier some days if I’m not feeling 100%, but also get the push in motivation by being in a class with 14 or so other people.  It’s great!  Seriously, when you find an activity that you enjoy it makes a huge difference!

 

I best be off to do that thing called work.  I hope your week is going well!

~Kim

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Hi My Sweets!

I’m still alive.  I know I haven’t been as consistent as I’d like to lately, but things are beginning to turn around for the better here and life is slowly returning to normal.

I have to be honest, I was on a little downward spiral starting a few months before my sister’s wedding in August.  I was upset with myself…A LOT.  My eating was out of control.  I started gaining weight and couldn’t stop from crying all of the time.

Then, Sandy hit.  I had been doing a little better at that point, but the devastation of Sandy just made me feel numb.  Rob was surprised that I was holding it all together, because I tend to be the sensitive/emotional one.  I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that tears and emotions weren’t going to allow me to get through this tough time.  I tried to just take things day by day, be thankful for my job and for the people there supporting me (more people care about me than I ever realized).

Still, the uncontrollable eating ensued.  My clothes got tighter.  It didn’t help that those that were salvaged shrunk.  I felt like a stuffed sausage.

Every morning I felt a sense of panic about what would actually fit that I could wear to work.  I hated the way that I looked and couldn’t bring myself to look in a full length mirror.  At work, I basically hid in my cubicle as much as possible, ashamed of my appearance.  My weight is the last thing I should have been obsessed with at this time.  Let’s face it, there are much more pressing things to be taking care of, right?

No matter what I should or shouldn’t have been worrying about, it was still a reality that the number creeping upward on the scale was effecting me.  First, I reached out to my former fitness coach.  I thought that maybe focusing on something positive, like getting ready for a fitness competition would get me back on track.  That lasted a few days and then my eating demon reappeared in full force.   I was MISERABLEThere was no hiding from this.  It was going to continue getting worse if I didn’t take action.   I didn’t want to worry Rob.  He already had more than enough on his plate.

So, I did what I recommend for all of my friends who are trying to lose some weight and find a healthier lifestyle.  I joined Weight Watchers.  Since I’m really shy and don’t have much time for meetings, I joined as an online member.  I think that tracking PointsPlus is easier on my mind than tracking calories.  Maybe that’s because whenever I tracked what I ate on other sites, I was consumed with getting each macronutrient to a certain percentage (Ex: 40% Carbs, 40% Protein & 20% Fat).  I couldn’t just live in the moment and enjoy a healthy portion of food that I was actually craving.  I was always preoccupied with the numbers and what time of day it was.  Sometimes, when you know too much it can be a bad thing and that’s what it was for me.  My sister and I have a little theory about where all of this stems from and I’ll get more into it in my Thursday Thoughts this week.

Friends, I have a good feeling about this!  I truly do.  I even have a friend of mine doing it with me so we can keep each other accountable.  I feel that with Weight Watchers I can stay on track while enjoying life.  I can enjoy a glass of wine with my sister, as I did last night, and not feel guilty about it.

20121209-164204.jpg

I can go out to dinner, cook a full range of recipes for myself and Rob, and enjoy some holiday goodies ALL while continuing to lose weight.  No more feelings of guilt.  I’ll keep up my exercise routine for my cardiovascular health and to shape my muscles, but I won’t be doing it to step on a stage. I can still push myself to run faster/longer and lift heavier, but it doesn’t have to be for a reason other than achieving a new personal best.  I just want to be happy, healthy and the best ME that I can be.  I want to ENJOY my life and not look back with anymore regrets! It can all be mine when I learn proper BALANCE instead of striving for perfection and going to extremes.  Those that love me don’t deserve what I’ve been putting them through.  Heck, I don’t deserve what I’ve been putting myself through all of these years..decades really.  DECADES!!  It is time to move on!

I’ve come to this conclusion many times before in my life.  The conclusion that I just need to find balance with my eating, exercise and other aspects of my life in order to be truly happy.

Somewhere along the way I lose focus.  I’ll be doing great on my balanced plan, losing weight, enjoying life and then I get the ‘great idea’ that I’m going to kick it up a notch’.  That’s when I decide I’m going to become a fitness competitor, go on some crazy plan and end up worse off than had I just stuck to my balanced living.  No More!! 

I made the commitment to myself that This Is It!  A balanced and healthy lifestyle is what I want and what I’m working toward now.  No matter how I feel in a month or two, when I’ve shed this extra weight, there is no crazy diet and fitness plan I’ll be jumping to.  I’m going to walk my talk and do exactly what I tell those that I love.  I mean, I should love and care about myself as much as I do them, right?  ABSOLUTELY!

With that off my chest, I best be going.  I promise to be around more regularly this week.  Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I’m still aiming to complete my New Year, New Me Challenge.

Have a great one!

~Kim

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Hi Guys!

I was on such a role with regularly posting until Sandy hit.  Unfortunately, we lost everything (I’m not even exaggerating when I say that) with the storm and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to consistently post again.  I’ll write more about Sandy in the future and will be around as much as I possibly can, considering the circumstances. 

I still haven’t been to work since before the storm.  Crazy!  I have so much anxiety right now about multiple things (our home, work, how we’re going to replace everything, dealing with the loss of things that can never be replaced, not having heat or power, what the heck I’m going to wear to a wedding this weekend nevermind work, when I do make it back, etc).  The most important thing is that everyone is safe.  We will be stronger after we get through this together. 

The situation is definitely overwhelming and my brain isn’t in the right place to be able to describe it all.  I’m glad that I wrote the following post prior to the storm.  I was hoping to also have a vlog for you, but that isn’t possible right now.  I still wanted to get my message out to you in this week’s Thursday Thoughts. 🙂

***

Who Do You Want to Be?

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pretty powerful words.  That Ralph Waldo Emerson sure was a smart man.  I love so many of his quotes!  Every time I hear a quote that I like I can be 99% sure that it’s one of his.  It’s just like my radar for Michael Kors’ bags.  😉

Anyway, someone had tweeted that quote yesterday and it made me start thinking of my post about not being a victim to yourself.  I can either play the victim, using the excuse that I have an eating disorder and that’s why I can’t do X, Y & Z OR I can decide that I am going to do what it takes to be the person that I want to become.

Yes, dealing with ED is a part of me.  Most likely, I’ll have to deal with it for the rest of my life, but that doesn’t mean that I’m just going to let it defeat me, miss out on experiences and not strive to be my best me possible.  No Way! 

I’ve always been one to put the things I want to do to the side, waiting to be at my best (for me, meaning being at my “perfect” weight)  in order to do them.  No More!

There’s only one person standing in the way of me reaching my potential…ME!

Yes, another Ralph Waldo Emerson quote.  I told you I liked him! 😉

There you have it.  It feels good to have that off of my chest.  I think it’s good for me to see that I’m actually the one in control.  If I’m not happy with where I’m at it’s my fault and my fault alone.  Yes, I have struggles.  We all do and there are some with much worse struggles than me.  I should be thankful with the cards I’ve been dealt instead of focusing on the negative.

I know who I want to be.  Do you?  Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?  I’m starting NOW!

***

I hope that you fared well through the storm.  Everyone is in my thoughts.  I promise to be back as soon as I possibly can.  I can’t wait for a sense of normalcy again.

Sincerely,

~Kim

XOXO

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Hey Guys!

I’m home sick today, but have two, that’s right TWO, Thursday Thoughts vlogs to share with you.  The first is what I originally wanted to post last week and then had technical difficulties.  I got cut off at the very end of that video session and finished up shortly thereafter.  The video then goes right into today’s post.

Sorry, still trying to figure this video thing out.  Right now, I’m lucky I’m getting any of it to post. 😉

Enjoy!

 

Happy Thursday!

~Kim

 

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Hi Guys!

 Brrrr….it cold this morning!!  Rob had to leave the house early and I ,the dork that I am,  always find the need to walk him to the door and wave as he drives away.  I am SO my mother’s child.  Luckily, there’s no one I’d rather be like. 🙂

 Yesterday, I wasn’t feeling so hot.  My headache came back (I actually still feel it lingering today) and I felt hot, but there was a major meeting going on at work and I felt it necessary to be at the office and coordinate everything.  I have a hard time letting go of control, I guess you can say.  I just know that I like things to go smoothly and I take a lot of pride in my work.  What matters to me doesn’t always matter to someone else (small details that others probably don’t even notice), especially if they were covering for me and it wasn’t necessarily their responsibility.  So….I went in.  By the end of the day I was dragging.  My skin was hot to the touch and my eyes were tearing.  I couldn’t wait to go home and cuddle up on the couch!

 Rob saw how exhausted I was and suggested that we get takeout from my favorite restaurant.  That perked me up a little.  After dinner, we resided to the bedroom  so I could fall asleep in bed (instead of on the couch, as I had done the previous night) while watching tv.  It worked out perfectly.  Sleep came to me quickly and before I knew it morning was here.  Here’s to another day!

 ***

Detoxifying My Life…

 I’m feeling better today, not just from illness and lack of sleep but also something within me that hadn’t been feeling quite right for a while.  Rob always tells me to stop living in the past.  There has been so much hurt there and mistakes made.  I always wish that I could go back and change things.  As we all know, that isn’t a possibility unless you’re Michael J. Fox, playing Marty McFly, traveling Back to the Future.

It won’t do any good to hang on to things that can’t be changed.  What can be changed is the present and future.  Steps and choices made today can mold our future into what we want it to be.  So, I decided to detoxify my life. 

I’m letting go of the people who only seem to bring out the negative.  The negative weighs me down and quite honestly I don’t need that.  No one does!  I didn’t deal with drama in high school and I’m not going to deal with it in my thirties.  Goodbye to the pot-stirrers and the one-uppers.  Find another sweetheart to latch onto.  This one is moving on!

 Along with detoxifying my life of negative people, I’m also cleansing my body of junk and the mindset that eating fewer calories is better.  Yesterday morning I had an awesome workout.  AWESOME!!  I’ve always been afraid to break the 1200 calorie mark, but where has that really gotten me in the past?  Nowhere good, that’s for sure!  So, after said “awesome” workout I made sure that I fueled my body properly the whole day through.  I ate mostly whole foods (as close to nature as possible) with a couple of processed food options thrown in like: spelt rice cakes, natural peanut butter & oat bran, which were the only things I ate that came in a container.  My body feels great!  It feels like it’s running like a well oiled machine.

 Now, this doesn’t mean that I won’t have treats here or there.  I am only human, ya know?  😉  A glass (or 2) of wine with Rob on the weekend, a special dessert while having dinner out, an egg white wrap from Starbucks while rushing around on the weekend are all allowed and I won’t allow myself to feel guilty for not eating perfectly “clean”.  That’s where I’ve gone wrong in the past; having the idea of a “perfect” diet and not being able to live up to it.  As long as I make healthy choices the majority of the time and exercise there is no need for guilt when having a treat here or there, especially when even my treats tend to be on the healthier side.

So, that’s where I’m at, my friends.  I’m detoxifying myself of the negative….negative people, certain foods, and ideas of perfection that have collected and created an unhealthy mindset.  The present and future are looking pretty darn good right about now!

Have a great day!

~Kim

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